leaving for college

Well it is my last night at home. How strange it seems that it is already time to leave. It feels like B & B just ended and there is still another month before I have to leave. My grandparents came by today. It was the last time I will see them until Thanksgiving. Three months until my first break and return trip home. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend for a different reason though. Rent will open in movie theatres, along with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I am really upset. I had the chance to go see The Last 5 Years today with Hannah Freier, but the guy did not call me back until she had already left for St. Louis.

So I now have my entire future ahead of me. What do I want to get out of it. What do I expect. I guess that I don't know what to expect. I come from Quincy, the city of illusion. I know it is going to be unlike anything that I have experienced. I know it is going to be new. Some people just want to go and get a degree, and that is fine after you have been in college for years, but I want more. I want to live and find myself. I want to learn who I am and what I stand for. Figure out what direction my life is taking and see if i do feel the presence of higher powers.

The dog just came running through the room. I wonder what got her blood going. She is just running around in circles. I am really going to miss her. I am just so used to having an animal around the house. They truly are therapeutic. The worst part is that when I come back for Thanksgiving, she will be unset with me and not want to deal with me. And when she finally warms back up to me it will be time for me to leave again. And she is still young enough that when I come back she will have changed. Well I am going to go and lie down in my bed for the last time. I am really leaving tomorrow morning. It still just doesn't seem real...